The First Solution
The Seventh Solution
Singing in my choir last summer, I focused on mastering the tricky syncopated rhythms in our new song. Ah-ha, I thought, I got it.
At the same moment, the choir director said “No, no, no! You didn’t get it.” She explained, one more time, how it should be done. I concentrated, trying to understand. My voice was loud, so when the director announced a mistake, it meant me. How could I feel so right and be utterly wrong? It wasn’t the first time I’d had this experience.
Besides singing bad notes, putting my faith in untrustworthy people was an old habit. In relationships, it could take me decades to unravel what I’d thought was a good companion and discover the dishonest components at work. Part of me apparently didn’t want to see reality.
As an artist, often I couldn’t be objective about my paintings or drawings. Because I wanted so badly for my work to be great, I worked out a system. When I believed I had completed a painting or drawing, I called it “The First Solution,” to honor my efforts and yet allow possible imperfection.
After a break, when I was mentally ready to try again, I looked for new perspectives. I turned the drawing or painting upside down, then sideways. I squinted to see a new blurry version of the work. Using these techniques, often new possibilities popped into my mind’s eye, and I made improvements. Usually this meant emphasizing light and darks or adding more colors in one section or another.
When I came to “The Second Solution,” I felt deep satisfaction from persevering and discovering a better aesthetic. However, eventually, a niggling feeling grew and I allowed it time until I felt ready to explore again, to pursue “The Third Solution.” I repeated the same searching process. At times, I’ve found seven or eight solutions, a grand adventure. Perhaps the spaciousness and permission to explore new realities that I gave myself in my art journey overflowed into my relationships.
These days, I have many more good social connections than negative. I’m not as big a pushover – tending to see my closest contacts through rose-colored glasses – as I used to be. Thank you, art!
Kauffman’s painting, Purple Palm is currently featured in an online exhibit with the Walter Wickiser Gallery in New York. Use this direct link to see Kauffman’s work: https://www.artsy.net/viewing-room/walter-wickiser-gallery-kaethe-kauffman-flora/artworks
